Friday, February 26, 2010


For an award show, my partner and I are doing something that involves coffins.

To really get a realist shot, I decided it would be best if we could actually photograph a coffin. Even better if we could photoshop the person we want in it. Even better if we could put the coffin on the street where we want it, with the person in it.

Germans, as it turns out, are not really into renting coffins. Very few people are, although I have heard there is a place in Ireland, and that it is popular in the US- though neither of this helps me out on the northern sea border of Deutscheland.

I am thinking that, instead of working the insane advertising hours, I can put my new knowledge to use, start up a Rent-A-Coffin company. Maybe calling it something clever like Coffin-O-Rama or, Das Casket Platz.

The recession isn't over, and it could be a great investment. I can see the print ads already, envision the ambient, practically touch the guerrilla.

After doing some research, and reading this google question- I think I can start renting casket carts as well:

My husband and I are planning home 'wakes'. we already have our caskets, but need to figure a way to get the caskets from our house to the van and then into the church when the time comes. We won't be working with a funeral home. Say one such cart on eBay, but it was almost $300.

There is obviously a lot of money in it. Contact me if you'd like to partner up, or perhaps have some caskets you aren't using.

You have bad taste in music.

Sometimes, you work on creating an campaign for LLoyd's where you have a guy telling people they are going to go to hell for not believing in the Olympics and prances around with signs claiming you are the devil.

And then you find out a guy did it much better. With music. And then you watch and you bow to him in all his infinite glory.

Wanted: Apartment With Toilet- Minus Duct Tape

I am looking for an apartment in Boulder, CO for the months of April-June while I'm at CP+B. I don't care who with- or who owns it, as long as it is girls. Because as I've learned in Hamburg, living with boys is a different creature. This is why:

My Current Toilet.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Eyes of Urgasm

Besides the fact the the blog is hysterical- this specific blog posting is about me, and I'm very pleased that my prank was so long lasting

Guten Grim

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hug in a box

If you want one, I know where to get one.
In fact, I'll mail it to you...

Sexy People and Hugs

There is nothing I love better than feathers, leather, and mullets.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Inside you are your organs

Whenever I go to the Hauptbahnof (the main train station in hamburg), I always see a lot of interesting people. Mostly on Saturdays, but any day you could walk through it without stopping and see something weird.

Saturday I stood for about 5 minutes and I saw a girl dressed as a cat, a man wearing a black skirt trimmed with pink and a suit coat, two boys about the age of 9 or 10 with mullets that would rival anything in the 80's and 90's- I particularly loved the stripe down the left sides of their heads and how their hair matched each other's completely.

Then there was the woman you'd mistake for a bird. She had feathers flying off of everything- coat, hat, purse, shoes, earrings. It was like the tattooed leopard man.

Amidst all these... people who stand out... there are all the normal gents and ladies. While the others are weird on their outsides, I wonder about the people whose outsides are of ordinary appearance. What are they hiding on the inside?


While talking to my german room mate yesterday, I had an epiphany, which I remembered when I wrote my last post

if your mom is a mother fu**er, does that mean she's a lesbian, or, would the correct terminology be a father fu**er?

That was not a sissy scream, it was my war cry.

Dude, I'm gonna get my magic wipes out, this muth'a fu**er, he's in the wrong crib

Sunday, February 7, 2010

No better way to feel good about yourself, then to make fun of another's overly modern bathrobe

Ah yes, feeding the hatred for hipsters. Tom McNamara- this one's for you. Though, this character, while entertaining, seems a rather unhappy hipster himself

Unhappy Hipsters

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Death Cock

Any unsigned bands need a new lead singer?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Today I wanted to break up

With running. But then I remembered, running has a hot friend. Named Victory. And then I thought, Menage Trois?

Today I ate a bowl of salt

Actually, not a whole bowl, because I couldn't finish it.

Never again, no matter how poor, will I eat tomaten suppe that came in powder form.

Training, Hard On's and British People

Wednesday I started running again. It's been about a year since I've done any serious training, but injuries do that to you. I signed up for a half-marathon April 18th in Boulder- more as a jog than a race.

Nothing really gets you going like slipping and sliding on the outskirts of a lake- the germans in Hamburg neither shovel nor do they use salt! Instead they sprinkle dirt everywhere, so you still fall down and on top of it you just get dirtier!

Now that I'm training again I wish I would have brought more than 2 pants and 2 long sleeves, because i hate doing laundry.

Felt really inspired today researching the Olympic 2012 games in London. It's giving me a hard on for a 3:15 finish in the Chicago marathon.

We're working on an ad campaign for Lloyds TBS and their partnership with the Olympics to bring more awareness and unity to the people of Britain- hard to do because I've been to London once, for two weeks.

Trying to put myself in the british mind set. Don't know exactly what that means but I've bought some builder's tea and spent an hour practicing a British accent. We'll see how that goes

The Dark Ages- Of German Music

My German room mate has been an enthusiastic teacher in the ways of german music. I think I've learned more about Germany from him, then I have actually being in Germany.

Our latest lesson- the dark ages of german music. I can't share with you his wisdom, but I can share with you the hilarious videos.

Monday, February 1, 2010

And then there was man-babies

Every time I lose faith in the world I come across something extraordinary that reassures me that I am not the only weird person out there.

25 photos.