Thursday, July 26, 2012


I was thinking maybe I'll write a short story every day. A REALLY short story. Not sure if I will but here's day one. No edits. 


I sat at the piano, and put my fingers on the keys. They didnt move. They rested. Old hands. Not so much in years, but in experience. Theyve put in hours, days really, holding other hands. The fingers have twitched endlessly over keyboards typing out idiocies, and every once and awhile meaning. They built things. Destroyed things. In an attempt to build something have accidentally destroyed something. They held forks and knives, stirred with spoons. In 30 years, theyve done so much. How could they be young?

I tap the keys lightly. A melody springs from them. Its one Ive never heard before, and one Ill probably never here again. I make it up as I go. Hitting the wrong notes, creating dissident chords. But its ok. Ill figure it out. The next go around itll sound right. Might take a third go, but Ill get it.

The sounds get louder, the keys pound against the bottom of the frame. It sounds angry, Im not sure why. Theres no need. I guess right now it just wants to be. So I let it. The hands, they are doing all the work, and its their choice.

I wonder what they will be doing tomorrow- my hands. Typing again, no doubt. They will hold glasses and forks and spoons again- but I hope they will do something more. Something I cant foresee right now. What if my computer broke? What if all my utensils melted? What if your hand was no longer here to hold? Then what would my hands do?

I suppose they would have to find a new way to do all that. A different way to play music, perhaps. Perhaps I wont even use my hands. Perhaps I will sing. 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

We're Golden

You know what they say-

Can't polish a turd.


You can dip that shit in gold.

Then what you've got is a golden turd- a hunk of shit masquerading as something bright, shiny, and worth something.

Friday, May 20, 2011



This is a description my friend uses an awful lot, mostly to describe the idiots he works with.

I love this word, it's amazing, and when I think about it I always imagine something like this:

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Take it with you

If your house is burning, what would you take?

Since I'm neurotic this is something I think about quite often- that and what I will do when the Zombies attack. Yes, I said "will," not "would." IT WILL HAPPEN.

Anyway- so these photos are really cool because you can tell a lot about a person just by these few items they'd choose. I'd imagine I'd be taking a lot of notebooks, my laptop, running& snowboard gear, and a lot of randomly sentimental items like my carved wood statue of Don Quixote given to me by a college professor.

Name: Lauren Spisak
Age: 34
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Occupation: Massage therapist; blogger; lover; mad genius

When the Rapture hits, are you going to heaven? Well your dog isn't. He's staying with me!

On Saturday May 21st the world is supposed to be Rapturized. I'm fairly confident since I'm not a christian I'll be one of those left behind to suffer, throw a giant "I survived the Rapture" party and loot all the departed wealthy Christians homes (They don't need it anymore, and my TV is from 2003. It takes 2 Mr. Unvierses to carry.)

Oh, and by the way, I'm taking your dog- because your dog can't come with you. Neither can your newt, your cat, your goldfish or 10 foot boa.

In all seriousness though, I neither want to, nor can, take all your pets. I don't really care about rabbits or guinea pigs or ugly dogs. I would say Chinchilla as well, however a pair of my friends own one, and I know they won't be going anywhere, we'll still be here drinking whatever fine wine we can gather from you rapturized suckers.

If you DO care about your pet, have no fear, I have just the answer for you.

But, again, seriously- when the rapture doesn't happen, we should be able to cut these fools off. One guy has made several of these predictions, and we should be able to laugh them off the planet and make sure they know they're idiots.

We can do it with giant stickers on their billboards, like this!

That's just my suggestion.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Playing Art Director!

I'm definitely no art director or graphic designer. I'm a writer with a Art Director for a reason- I need a talented person to take care of that stuff!! But, I do like to dabble and have fun. This is a page from my notebook I write in before it's time to concept. I find it gets out all the garbage in my head. I've always liked the one quote, but like everything in my notebook, it doesn't have a name to it.

here's the original