Monday, May 31, 2010

A Drag Show In Denver

This weekend, my cousin visited and I went to Denver for the second time. And I saw a drag show.

What led me to see this drag show, was my first trip to Denver. I worked the Cuervo Games for CPB. My job was to hang out with the teams and usher them from event to event.

The first round I had bar teams. One of them from the Retro Room, and the other from Charlies, both in Denver. Both teams told me to stop by sometime.

Now, the team from Charlies was a dude covered in tats, a huge grizzly long haired metal head, a short kinda geeky looking guy, and a guy who I thought was kind of cute. They told me Charlies was a country bar and there was line dancing.

Well now, who isn't up for an occasional drinking and line dancing? I said I'd love to visit.

A week later, I've been drinking at the Rockie's ball park with my cousin, and three of his friends. My female drinking partner and I have decided to chase down these free drinks at Charlies- the guys opting to not walk a mile to a bar, stayed by our hotel.

We get to Charlies after walking through a seedy neighborhood. We're greeted at the door by a cop and a large, flamboyant man. We step into the club and our met by the aroma of a tex mex buffet. Further exploration leads us to a packed room with a half naked wo/man dancing and lip syncing in the middle of the floor. I find a guy from my Cuervo Team and take a shot.

We continue to watch the show. I'm really amazed by singer number to, who was in full shemale dress and belting out a great number. I looked around in amusement at the beer bellied man wearing only black mesh, the cowboys wearing nothing but underwear, a cowboy hatt and an unbuttoned tshirt.

Despite discovering the 10th wonder of the world, there was a bit of disappointment in the evening. While I prefer the ladies who actually sang, some of the lip syncers were great, except for the last one- who, unlike the males dressed as females, was a female who was more male. She put on metro station, "sang" 'Shake It', and all she did was stand in the middle of the floor jumping up and down.

I was expecting so much more from her.

Eventually, we had to move on, but one more drink in me and Lauren and I would have been in the middle of the dance floor collecting dollars and lip syncing with the rest of them.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Side Effect # 12: Sudden Death

I think I should change my birth control. That doesn't seem healthy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I tried to cut a carrot, it didn't work out in my finger's favor.

My boyfriend was swearing in the kitchen about how ghetto everything is. We have one pot, one pan, and stove top that may or may not work and is "off center" at best.

I'm not trusted with the actual cooking. I cooked once, forgot about the chicken, and since he's told me I tried to poison him with hockey pucks.

I AM a good cook I swear, but the hockey pucks won't seem to stop haunting me. And after today, well, I'm banned from the kitchen forever.

Back to the beginning- yelling from the kitchen, and I was banished to the table to cut carrots. Warned many times to be careful, I worked slowly.

And then a loud )(&%@FFSGLKHSGO*%*@*$%$ echoed through out the house, and blood was de-sanitizing everything in my path.

As I said, we're ghetto- we're only living here for ten weeks and we don't buy things others may call "necessities" - such as bandages. So I reach for the toilet paper. Yes, we have toilet paper in the kitchen.

I'm yelled at for using one of the few roles of toilet paper and bleeding on it, and given a paper towel. Then I spend 20 minutes watching my boyfriend cook, hearing "I JUST TOLD YOU to be careful", and being woozy on the couch, refusing to go get stitches as I bleed through the first paper towel.

No worries though, I'm not Kristyn Urgo- the cousin who slammed her finger in a car so hard it was out of commission for some time (I had to cut her food for her at Thanksgiving)- my finger is still mostly in tact.

Update: 5 days later. Took off my bandaid. Walked to CPB's bleachers. Look in my hand and wondered when my green ipod got red dots and streaks all over it.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Guy runs Boston Marathon with Cam on his head

While I think he could have chosen another song to play over and over again during this video, it is otherwise pretty cool (as well as my goal to race it 2011!). Might be best to just put it on mute and run some inspirational music from itunes.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I would leave you for a Burrito

The headline for the article containing this ad said "Plausible: Woman Leaves Man for $5.47 Bag of McDonald's"

At first I laughed, and thought- that's so silly, who'd leave their man for McDonalds. Lame!

And then I remembered when I returned from Germany (a land devoid of mexican food) after three months. Three long months of talking to people about how much I miss Burritos. Yes, the amazing spicy Mexican dish. And what did I tell my boyfriend, for three solid months how I wanted him to drive me straight to Chipotle.

After about a month of this, he started telling me I love burritos more than him. He told me he would drive by me at the airport, throw a burrito at my face, and then leave. He said this would be my reaction, and honestly, I can't disagree.

after being smacked in face by burrito:
1) why is matt driving by!?!
3) Gobble burrito. num num num num.
4) Wait. where's matt?

So, I can't say this ad isn't completely plausible. Because I would leave you for a burrito.

Monday, May 3, 2010

You don't have to tell me twice. Actually, you do.

So I'm an idiot. This I realize. I've paid the price. Twice. In fact, as I sit here on the bleachers of Crispin Porter, I continue to pay the price. Heavily.

About three weeks ago, I went for a run on the Boulder Creek Path- it's a lovely path that winds up into the foothills, along a "Creek" which is actually more of a river-lette.

Now, we've heard of the fresh, delicious water from the colorado mountain springs. This made me assume that the water was unpolluted, and that drinking from one of these streams from the high tips of the mountains would be a fine experience.

It was hot, I was a half hour up the trail, and the water was tempting. So I went for it. For some reason I've always wanted to say I've drank from a river. I don't know why. The water was sweet and delicious, so I had a few handfuls, quenched my thirst and continued on my way.

Fast forward to 330am. I'm on the floor of my bathroom, puking loudly. My brand new room mate whom I had only met a week before awoke to my stomach's heaves and several flushings of the toilet. He did not fully get back to sleep.

A few days later I was talking to a girl who I went out with to dinner the day of my river drinking puking experience. She, took, had thrown up that night. We'd had fish for dinner, and I assumed it wasn't the water (which, that evening I was convinced I was dying because of a stupid thing I'd done), it was food poisoning.

Yesterday, I went for a 12 mile run with another Miami Ad Schoolite. She is not a person who drinks water- how she does it, I don't know. But I need water. I hadn't gotten a plastic gatorade bottle yet, and our ten miler the week before with my nalgene bottle killed my arms, so I decided I'd drink at the water fountains along the way.

The water fountains, despite it being May, were not turned on. We get to the fateful bend in the river where I had drank before, and I stopped to drink again while Kay made grossed out noises. But again, the water was cool and delicious. I drank up.

By my ten, I was heaving and trying my best to keep up with kay. When we finally finished, I swore I was going to throw up right there. We walked the half mile back to my apartment, where we chatted in my living room, while in my head i thought LEAVE SO I CAN PUKE. She wasn't out the door a half a second and my head was in the toilet.

I laid moaning and groaning in my bed for a few hours, and was -800 calories for the day because I couldnt get anything in my stomach. My dad told me something about amoebic dissentary where you have amoebas in your intestines.

After far to many stomach calming pills, I'm still fighting the need to stick my head in the toilets at crispin, and go wandering in search of the rumored bunk beds.

Hopefully I don't throw up any amoebas today.