Saturday, April 24, 2010

European adventure

Hello Dear Friends And Those Who Have Taken A Slight Interest In My Ramblings!

I am a horrible blogger. I admit it. I went on an 18 day extravaganza around europe and reported absolutely nothing.

Here is the jist:

-I visited 8 cities, and passed through many others.

-I slept on people's couches I have never met before- out of 18 nights, I only had to pay for 6.

-I drank a LOT of belgium beer.

- I drank so much Beligium beer, despite walking for 2-8 hours a day, plus running in the mornings, and not eating a whole lot, I still managed to gain weight.

-I met a man named Bruno, whom I drank belgium beer with and talked about genetics.

-Bruno bugs monks in the mountains, and gets cases of beer no one else can get a hold of, hides it in his basement, then has parties with it.

- After drinking belgium beer with Bruno, I climbed over the fence into an art exhibit that was about 50 blocks of cement with a red painted chair on each one. I sat on several of them and told Loren to take my picture. I broke one.

- After breaking one, I stood on a car and had my picture taken, and then I laid down in a cross walk, because I thought the picture would look cool there.

-I climbed some mountains and ate chocolate made of liquor.

-Tried absinthe in Hemmingway's favorite bar in barcelona shortly after witnessing either a robbery on the main street, or someone getting busted for selling a lot of drugs.

- I slept by an airport runway

- When Loren and I walked into our hostel room after climbing mountains old day, there was a really old man sleeping in his bed.

- A few nights later when I went to bed in a different hostel, there was a drunk man sleeping in my bed.

- I slept in a different bed, and woke up screaming OH MY GOD at 4:10 because I was haluci-dreaming and thought there was a spider as big as my head two feet from my nose. I ran from the room

- The next day I received an email from my friend who said "I had to wake up at 430am to catch my flight, but woke up to some obnoxious crazy girl screaming at 410am". This is how I know it was 410am when I woke up. I still have not told Loren it was me.

- Hi loren, I'm the crazy girl who woke up all 7 people screaming at 410am.

- I played Gollum in a really old castle. This meant hiding in corners in strange posses taking pictures.

- The part I enjoyed most about the castle was the torture room.

- My first morning in amsterdam, I woke up on the floor, on a deer skin.

- I found a Condomerie in Amsterdam- they make condoms to fit. They also have a cow shaped condom, and a statue of liberty condom, with spikes, that inflate when you cum.

- I found out that men pay the prostitutes in Amsterdam 50eu for anything. Women are only 30. Yes, feminism!

- When I'm drunk in London, I start speaking with a bad accent. When asked "But you aren't from Ireland" I said "No, I've been living in Germany" as if this makes it all better.

- I got my nose re-pierced in Camden Town in London. While the guy was doing it, he said I was the best person he ever had- incredibly calm, didn't even flinch. When he was putting in a larger ring, I passed out, my body was seizing, and he said I was staring at him, shaking with empty eyes. My friend wanted to throw up. She did not get her ear pierced after. So much for being the best victim ever.

- I met two people who met online, in different countries, through World of War Craft, and then got married.

- I met a catalyn man in Barcelonan hostel who told me and some other americans that he would take us a few hours outside the city up into the mountains and show us around. On the train out there we thought this could be the plot of Hostel 2. He gave us liquor chocolate. We thought this was a good idea too.

- I danced to a Tuna Band with a member of the band. He played his instrument really well. I was swooning. He was the best tambourine player ever.

- He later fell down from drinking 10 jaeger shots.

- I managed to go three weeks with out thinking about advertising. This was the biggest feat of the journey.

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