Urgo: The College Daze, Part 1

I found an old blog of mine. Excerpt

First, the story of myself in auge, told through the eyes of tom since he does it so well, and i lakk every time i read it. An Excerpt from the Journal of Sir Thomas Of Machine.

"Today, though, in Lit Crit, something stupendous happened. Well, perhaps it was just stupid.

After sitting and watching Ague conference with people who weren't me, I decided that I would leave Lit Crit, get some lunch, and return to talk to him later. Ague had not told us that we could leave, though, so I was a little nervous about leaving class. I told Urgo and Drez of my plans, though, and they decided that they, too, wished to leave.

Urgo's involvement in this plan proved from the beginning to be a problem.

First, she would not leave because she was angry that an online quiz told her that she is gay. She wished to take the test over, but rather than wait for her to do so, I ripped my computer from her Italian grip. She retreated, and I shoved my computer in my bag where she could not get it.

So, we were all finally prepared to sneak out of class. I decided that Urgo should be the one to tell him that we would be back later, but she refused. I stood for a moment, hesitating, wondering if I should really leave. The next thing I knew, Urgo was on the floor.

No, Urgo did not collapse of heart failure from eating too much spumoni. Nor was she, surprisingly, drunk. No, neither of those. Urgo had decided to crawl out of the room.

[ She walked to the row of desks next to the door and chucked her back pack, lap top and all out the door. She then knelt down behind the people sitting for a moment, and then was on her belly in army crawl position, all while Ague rattled on in the front of the classroom oblivious]

Drez and I watched in amazement as Urgo slithered out of the room like the snake from the story we read last semester. [ she then stood outside the door and proceded to wave and grin at everybody stuck inside, then bounded to the starirwell] And then, we, too, left."

The Thanksgiving Shit Show

Last night got out of hand in so many ways. I wish I could share, but it was more of a "you had to be there" out of hand in order to not think we were all assholes.

Either way, it was the best Thanksgiving ever. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I got a little teary. I hosted my first turkey day with my room mate Aron, who oddly enough I met on twitter. You'd think this is strange, but with the amount of state/country hopping I've done the past few years, it's about par for finding room mates.

Anywhoodles. I hate Thanksgiving. I've never enjoyed it, and I usually view it as a chore. I'm un-American. But yesterday, I loved it for the first time. I got some awkward giggles about that during my opening speech, but that's cool. When you're moving every three months, you learn to appreciate good people when you find them, and we've got a pretty tight knit intern group in Boulder. I'm going to be pretty sad to see everyone go, but hopefully wherever I land next I'll find a new family.

I won't go into detail about the evening, I'll just leave you with a picture of how it started out and let your mind go from there.

There are no words

A copywriter @ CP+B has this up on her website- it's a real picture she took in a bowling alley. I can't stop laughing.

For once, I agree with Jesus

Thanks Katie

Fruit-Salad-Play-Doh

YES! So I was talking to Mr. Hauser of the wining dining and lying blog aka law school food guy and for his fantastical four course meal on saturday we're going to be having fruit salad play doh as a course.

I can already see this evening may rival the 6-course evening with wine connoisseur John from Cuvee Cellars, after all, I am bringing him monogramed napkins courtesy of my mother.

Anyway, you'll be able to mix and roll your own fruit salad play doh. I plan on making mine into abstract, exotic, or erotic shapes. It'll be made from (we think) pureed juices, sugar, and butter- but we'll see how this all turns out.

I do all my skinny dipping in Florida

For some reason, I have never done it anywhere else, but every time I go to Florida, it ends up happening.

But on to the trip. About a week ago, an old friend of mine said he'd be returning from Iraq where he's a contract fireman, and asked if I'd drive home with him... from Florida. He'd left his car in Panama City- so I got on a plane at 7am friday morning. We chilled on the beach, I explored the bar scene, went for a little dip, and by 11am the next day we were on the road running from russians to Alabama (long story... no worries, we're safe until she finds out where we live).

At one point, we all ended up naked in the pool. You would think this was the exciting part, but it wasn't, just a bunch of fools seeing how long they could hold their breath for.

However, when it was time to get out my friend and another guy were still in the pool, naked, hanging on to the ledge trying to poop in the pool. My friend was unsuccessful, and began to climb out when something caught his eye. The other fellow HAD been successful, and low and behold there was a giant deuce floating in the pool.

Upon arriving to Alabama I was introduced to a special driving-home tradition. Buying 15 McChickens from McDonalds. We pulled up to the drive through, ordered two smoothies and 15 McChickens. There was a small pause from the other side, while we sat giggling inside the car (its really funny to hear a 25 year old man giggle over McChickens), and again she asked "15 mcchickens" to which we responded yes, and i informed her I had a death wish.

13 hours later in Indiana, we were still eating the McChickens.

If you've never driven through Alabama at the height of summer, it's really beautiful. Ivy grows freely along the highway, taking over trees and rocks. It grows tall and pours off the tree tops. It could easily be very romantic place, and some of them looked like giraffes. There were giraffes in Panama City, but Nick didn't take me to the Zoo, which was sad.

A few days later I received a drunken phone call from Nick. He was at his mom's house getting some late night snacks. I could hear rustling, and I'll be damned if he wasn't eating 3 day old McChickens that had been sitting in the hot unairconditioned car for several hours.

Cat on a leash

Oh yes I did. Mr. The BRR Vonegut Urgo now has a skull and cross bones leash and collar. Now we can sit on the back porch without worrying his fate will be death by car while chasing squirrel. Although, my friend's dog once hung itself from his leash out a window... so lets hope that doesn't happen.